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[06 Apr 2007|09:22am]

[ mood | LMAO ]

Title: After the War
Location: The Pit
Rating: T
Genre: couplespooge Romance
Game: Suikoden III
Summary: Queen. Pregnant. Geddoe. Babydaddy. OH TEH DRAMAZ@!!

How does a woman find out she's pregnant in the Suikoden world? Clear Blue Easy, of course!Collapse )

laughing too hard to commentCollapse )

Apparently, being a parent with a True Rune will transfer part of your True Rune inside your unborn child. And apparently, the author has never heard of Wyatt or Chris Lightfellow.Collapse )

6 comments|post comment

Because crossovers need a little love [14 Jan 2007|10:59pm]

[ mood | amused ]

Been a while, eh?

The trainwreck story: When Prince Falenas meets Harry Potter
Author: KuramaKitsuneRyu I guess there wasn't room for a -chan
Where: The Pit
Fandom: Suikoden V/Harry Potter
Summary: Well, I'd say the title's transparent enough!
Rating: K-plus
Genre: Action/Adventure/Humor

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Four paragraphs in and already an inserted author's note. Maybe she should've let the muse conversation go on until it explained anything about the actual plot.Collapse )

Why research is important, whether your guess is wrong or rightCollapse )

TEH LETTUR!!!!!!!!11Collapse )

Yes, London, England. You know, England? The country just west of Kanakan, Earth. Really.Collapse )

The second chapter. Consisting of nothing but an author's note.Collapse )

It's only one chapter long, and pretty crappy so far. The spelling and grammar are atrocious, and the explanations for these two worlds connecting are sloppy at best. The author hasn't put much thought or effort into the direction of this story, she doesn't bother with canonical research, and OH GOD FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD.

All in all, just another gem at the snark comm.

12 comments|post comment

A year in advance is still sufficient notice... [23 Aug 2006|06:14pm]




Cosplay Suikoden?

Desire to cosplay Suikoden?

108 in 2k7.

Next year at Otakon, the Stars of Destiny will gather...


Cross-posted to excess.
5 comments|post comment

Hall of Shame [13 Oct 2005|05:18pm]

Since it's been so quiet around here, I'm going to make a post! Gasp! You are all very shocked!

There are many fics we here at suikosnark love. And by love, I mean our brains collectively break. But don't let word get out that we don't take this seriously, because according to our detractors we're silly elitists who sit around mocking fics because we will never have 1337 writing skillz ourselves, yo.

At any rate, these are my personal top ten picks for worst best in the fandom.

Read more...Collapse )

Stay tuned, guys. I intend to spice things up around here with... a parody challenge! :O Rules and the prize of grand grandness will be posted as soon as I have decided what this challenge shall be.

3 comments|post comment

AUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [10 Jul 2005|10:45pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

Definately not work safe. Probably not even safe for most homesCollapse )

21 comments|post comment

Journalfen registration is open again [26 Feb 2005|07:43am]

I know some folks were trying to get accounts there for F_W and suikosnark, so here's my PSA for this morning...

Account registration without codes was open last night and it still is now. So if you want an account, hussle over there before they close it. http://www.journalfen.net/create.bml
1 comment|post comment

Cannon canon [21 Jan 2005|09:59pm]

I don't know if this is an appropriate place to post this. If it's not, you can cut off my head. *kneels*

Could I get (an) intelligent beta-reader(s) for Suikoden IV fic? I'd like someone to go over my story and impending future stories not only for serious concrit, but also for canon errors. I would want someone who has finished the game, and at least one reader who has gotten all 108 Stars, because I'm still working on that and I will have to play the whole game over to get there. I do not normally consider myself familiar enough with a game to trust my memory of canon until I've played it at least twice; I haven't done that with Suikoden IV yet, and in the meantime endgame-fic is taking over my brain.

My fics tend to be short one-shots, probably no more than a couple of pages per piece-- the one I just finished came to 1,224 words. I don't write prolifically, so it wouldn't be an enormous commitment of your time, but I do get anxious waiting and I like to hear feedback pretty soon after I'm done.

This will probably be open for a while, since I can't imagine that a huge number of people are finished with the game already, let alone happen to be intelligent ficwriters in this community who have the time to beta-read for me right now. Thanks.
8 comments|post comment

After some thought... [11 Jan 2005|02:09pm]

I decided to delete my latest snark for a variety of reasons. First off, I probably wouldn't have snarked that story save for it's last line and the fact that at the moment I wrote it, I was feeling uber-bitchy over some art-nonsense. Also, while I'm sorta wondering about certain coincidences (as others are) I'm not 100% sure that the author wasn't just a newbie who was trying. Given his/her reaction to the suggestion that his/her story was a parody, I've got even money on either situation being true.

Anywho, since I'm not sure, and since I wrote him/her a concrit review, I feel rather hypocritcal snarking the story. And thus, I have deleted the snark.

If a mod wants it for an archive, I have saved it as a word file, but ehh...it was a half-assed snark anyway.

And if they would turn off the damn fire alarm, I'd really be a happy camper. ~_~
post comment

Snarking some BNFs [24 Dec 2004|12:54pm]
I fell since you folks can give it to tose of us who are trying to write stories but don't snark each other that I should snark you. I red some of your stories and here is my attempt at snarking. I snarked the stories, not the people even though I'm disppointed that people have to insult others to make themselves feel better or whatever.

Also if you are BNFs you should be nicer to those of us ho are really trying to be fans. It would be nice.

Title: Harvest Days
Author: K’Arthur who should be called Krackthur because of this crap
Where: On the Pit
Percival and Chris are married and two kids. One year Percival comes for harvest to soccermomchris and brings the knights with him.

Why Snarked:
It is hard to read. The sentences are all messy and the dialogue is boring. Plus, the characters suck. Salome and Ardeth show up, Roland makes a appearance and the kids are just annoying. Ryan (the kid narrator) speaks to the reader like we’re idiots and his tone is stupid. He doesn’t get half of what is said around him and the humor used fails.

Also there’s some connection to Krackthur’s other story I refuse to read because it has Borus and Percival all butchered. And Ardeth. See below for the Marry Sue report on Ardeth.

Story Or Series Title: Twice Borwn and Lingering in Twilight but also appears in Krackthur’s stories for whatever reason
Fandom: Suikoden III
Culprit Author's Name: Straya but also used by Krackthur
Full Name (plus titles if any): Ardeth Chapele Harras
Full Species(es): Uglyman lover
Hair Color (include adjectives): Brown.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Brown or green. I can’t remember which and I’m not going back to find out.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: She’s part Karayan. The strategist/vice captain of the Zexen knights is sleeping with a Karayan. Walks with a limp but rides a horse by lying down--a Karayan horse.

Special Possessions (if any): Salome buys her clothes, a rune and other things he doesn’t need to in the Twice Born story. She also has a horse named Jael in Twice Born and a kid named Jael in Linger in Twilight and Krackthur’s stories. Because a high ranking member of Zexen society would allow his child to be named after a horse.

Annoying Origin: Brother was Roland’s squire. Brother was injured. Ardeth decides to go to Brass Castle and get a job. She insults all the knights but Salome takes pity on her. (Reader is never really told why she’s such a bitch) She gets into trouble, Salome the Ugly rescues her and gets revenge on some guy who kileld her parents or something, and they fall in love.

Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She’s rude to the knights. She has some thing going on with Landis that carries over into Lingering in Twilight but I can’t understand most of it because it doesn’t make sense. She also talks to Eike a lot. I guess she has a thing for fugly guys.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
I don’t know how to use the cutting tag, but let me just say that I don’t understand why this charater is so popular that other BNFs like Krackthur borrow her for their own stupid stories.
16 comments|post comment

o/~ I'll be home for Christmas...after I snark one more time... o/~ [22 Dec 2004|10:15am]

Title: When Worlds Fuse
Author: Prozac Prozhen
Where: On the Pit
When Suikoden 3 fuse with Airasul and Earth what will happen to our heroes? Ratings for future chapters.
(All grammar/spelling mistakes are sic'ed)

Why Snarked:
It's really short, and as much as I want to paste all of it, you'll have to just go there and amuse yourself.

Anyway, in the space of a few paragraphs, a GarySTU appears, Budehuc's name is butchered and Hugo and Fubar are fused into one being.

Correct spelling...of canon places...is not optional...Collapse )
5 comments|post comment

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH! [17 Dec 2004|01:37am]

[ mood | traumatized ]


I don't usually rant about PWP fics, but.. this is a Chris/Elaine/Rody/Wan Fu/Landis/Eike orgy. So no, not work safe.

Please tell me this is a parody. My eyes, they bleed.

7 comments|post comment

because it's halloween [31 Oct 2004|06:50pm]

[ mood | ¬_¬ ]

A screaming good entry for you!

Location: El Net de dot de Fanfiction
Title: Peace Finally
Supposed Genre: Romance/General
Rating: PG-13
Pairing (if applicable): Chris/Lucia

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

I am a Knight of Zexen! Save me from this misery as well as the option of dying proudly for my country!Collapse )

Being nitpicky here, but...let's put these events in order, shall we?Collapse )

o shit O SHIT she's STANDING!!!! In RETALIATION!!! PH333333333RCollapse )

One of these days, one of these daaays, POW! Right in the kisser!...'cept with less pow and more suctionCollapse )

Trying so hard to not take this out of contextCollapse )

I don't know about you folks, but I always appreciate it when the author tells you EXACTLY what squicks them. Makes me feel special.Collapse )

I wonder what Dad had to say about all this. Not a damn thing, because his existence doesn't count in this alternate storyline.Collapse )

Some fanfic equations for you to follow. 1) Hate = love 2) Liking of littlest degree = loveCollapse )

Auuugghhh!!! Put some skin on, Lucia!Collapse )

Fanfic rule. If something gets in the way of their love, remove it.Collapse )


For all those who have ever complained about using the word 'orbs' for eyes...stop complaining now.Collapse )

Logic at its finestCollapse )

I also have to wonder about the events of the 2nd Fire Bringer war. Did Zexen, Grassland, and Harmonia unite? Obviously the war was won if the continent isn't a big ass smoking patch of ash, but how did they win if they didn't unite? And if they did unite, wouldn't the Zexens have gotten close enough to notice Chris was with Karaya... okay, I'm tired of thinking.

Edit: fixed wonky spacing

11 comments|post comment

"Losing the 4th Wall" [26 Sep 2004|11:59am]

[ mood | apathetic ]

What the heck is up with this new genre? There's a new one of ff.net right now (link below) that makes me scratch my head and say...I fail to see the humor.

Basically, the character and the author (or author's muse in some cases) talk and argue. I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that I read this person's Wyatt fic and really enjoyed it, and then she puts this crap up. WTF.

Maybe I'm just cranky this morning, but seriously, what sort of 'fic is this and why are they suddenly becoming so annoyingly popular in all my fandoms?

*grumble grumble*

Linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2069653/1/

10 comments|post comment

Decent Ones ARE Out There. [23 Aug 2004|06:30am]

[ mood | awake ]

Well I was looking around the Pit out of boredom and I found this new one. It's well written and although I don't particularly care for the pairing, the author makes me believe it. I think it works so well here because s/he doesn't try to make it a sappy romance, but more of just a conversation. Soo...yeah. I figured I'd share my find since there's only so much crapfic one can actually take. ^^

Firelight by MercWanderer

5 comments|post comment

Suikoden SIMS do not a manga make. [13 Aug 2004|06:32pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

Ah...well, I was cruising ff.net today and discovered that our own Izzyfits has resurfaced. Out of curiosity, I followed the link on her author page to THIS:


What is it you ask? Well I'm personally still trying to figure that little bit out. But it seems that IzzyPie has put Suikoden skins on her SIMs and is now "acting out" her fics. She's calling them "mangas" and has even added text bubbles for the inane text.

Text is terrible, and the characters read completely out of whack. Borus and Percy seem to be having a lover's quarrel. Either that, or Borus is jealous that Percy's been bangin' Rody on the side. Yeah. Ok. And they'd discuss this in the middle of the mess hall with random others around!?!?


Still, I must give credit where credit is due: whomever made the skins did a pretty good job.

24 comments|post comment

.............. *DIES laughing* [07 Aug 2004|11:33pm]

[ mood | amused ]

*headdesk* It's not a fic, but dangit, it's Suikoden related, so up it goes.

I'm an admin at a Suikoden-themed site, and there's an interactive fanfiction/RPG thing on the forums. It isn't a huge RPG, and it's actually been dormant for a couple of months because of several things that happened (such as the forum dying, one or two people just sort of left the game altogether, etc). So I was pretty surprised when I logged in and someone had submitted an application for a character. So since I help run the RPG, I went to check it out.

It was an application, all right. For Sasuke Uchiha. On a Suikoden-only RPG.

I give him points for making me laugh at the end of a very bad day, but still, no.

I'm not even going to bother with commentary. The comedy creates itself.Collapse )

I'm thinking that it might be a troll pulling a gag because if it isn't I will be very sad for the sake of this fandom, but at this point it's hard to say until I PM the poster and tell them that the rules state we don't allow crossovers OR original characters with true runes. Oy. @__@

7 comments|post comment

In which Chao Otaku stumbles upon one of the most painful of fanfics [26 Jul 2004|09:54pm]

Location: Happy Magical Fangirl Land. Aka the Pit of the Voles.
Story Or Series Title: The Strength of Us
Culprit Author's Name: Temhoe Obnako
Supposed Genre: Action/Adventure/Mystery

Full Name (plus titles if any): Ookami
Full Species(es): Mary sue, of one of the worst varieties
Hair Color (include adjectives): syndira blue hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): Thankfully, I was spared from these details
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Nothing.
Special Possessions (if any): A silver chain necklace with a wolf symbol on it. A jar of pickled canon.

Annoying Origin: Flik's past.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Was Oddessa's best friend. Flik was REALLY in love with her, and not Oddessa.
Annoying Special Abilities: The usual Canon-rape and stuff.
Other Annoying Traits: From what I can tell, she has incredible luck... She just happens to be found by Flik, and Huan just happens to be waiting for them to heal her when they come back.

Pairings: oookay... Flik/Ookami, Viktor/Nanami (this... this is... just... GAH), Jowy/(Hero2)Cloud, Shu/Apple, Shin/Teresa, Eilie/Kinnison (I'm trying to picture this, but I'm repeatedly failing XD), Nina/Futch (again, I simply cannot picture this :P), Camus/Malkotov

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

In which Chao Otaku's brain explodes. (The sue's descriptionCollapse )

In which the Mary Sue rebuilds Chao Otaku's brain, and blows up againCollapse )

In which canon screams and dies (Don't forget, Flik's REALLY in love with her, not Oddessa!)Collapse )
12 comments|post comment

Announcement: Attention, All Fanficcers! [24 Jul 2004|12:12pm]

[ mood | working ]

Right! So... there's this super-duper spifftastic neato Suikoden fanfiction archive you can find over here at this site. It's just opened and it already has a few fics. Good fics, at that.

(Only rule as far as I'm aware is that we can't accept anything NC-17. The provider doesn't allow it.)

If any of you have Suikoden fanfiction that you wouldn't mind letting the public read, by all means - come on over and submit your work. It needs some love! ;.;

(Speaking of this, karthur, I did get your message - just haven't been able to get AOL to work the past couple of days. Bad connectoin or summat. I hate dialup with a fiery passion.)

1 comment|post comment

I want to find happy in bed too! [16 Jul 2004|01:05pm]

Well, I finally found a fic to post XD
No idea if it's supposed to be a parody or not, but it's portrayed as if it's supposed to be serious...
Also, I THINK that it's misrated, but it's a bit hard to tell...

Location: FF.net, or the Pit of the voles or whatever it's called...
Title: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1964151/1/
Supposed Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: G
Pairing (if applicable): Shu/Klaus

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

title in the cutCollapse )

I'm guessing english isn't this person's first language...
10 comments|post comment

*head desk* *head desk* *head desk* [23 Jun 2004|06:37pm]

[ mood | *head desk* ]

Location: Ye old Pit of Voles
Title: Unexpected Love
Supposed Genre: Romance/General
Rating: R
Pairing (if applicable): Viki/Watari

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Evidently the author has a new theory that there's a third Viki, because this one neither acts like nor resembles the two we know of.Collapse )

Oh no!! He doesn't love me!! Ah well, time to end it all. It's not like I'm a valuable teleportress or magician or anything and have any reason to live.Collapse )

*head desk*



*head desk* *head desk* *head desk*

It's only 600 words so far, but I don't think I'm hasty in judging. And don't get me wrong; it's well written, the grammar and spelling are nearly flawless, and everything else is perfect with the exception of one formatting problem. But the characterization is ASS. In an original story, or--just an example--even a fic between Luc and Sarah, it might work. But for Viki.................no. Just...no. With the exception of a severe blow to the head.

11 comments|post comment

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